Passing on the blessing Wed 6-18-08  

            The great missionary explorer David Livingston spent over 30 years in the remotest places in Africa in the mid 1800’s.  A story is told that on one occasion as he was arriving on the edge of a large territory that was ruled by a powerful chief. He had to, according to tradition, wait for the chief to come out and meet him at a certain spot, and they would exchange certain items.  This had to happen before he could enter.  So Livingstone laid out his meager possessions on the ground for the chief to select from. His books, his watch, and his clothes everything including his goat which he kept with him because he had a bad stomach and couldn’t drink the water.  Low and behold the chief took the goat and gave in exchange a carved walking stick.  Livingstone bemoaned his fate and even began to gripe to God, until a local man explained that the chief had just given him his very own scepter and with it he would find entrance to every village in the country.  The king has honored you greatly the man went on to say. 

            Sometimes in our disappointment over what we don’t have, we fail to appreciate what God has given us. So many times we witness people, who in their treatment of children view them as a burden instead of a blessing.  And it doesn’t take much for the kids to pick up on this.  Today I want to focus on the fact that children are a blessing.  

            Sunday I made the statement that our children are a blessing from God and   I touched on Ps 127:3-5a where it says, Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.   Blessed is the man who has a quiver full of them. 

            Children are a blessing from the Lord, so what are we to do with our blessing? In Gen 12 we read what God told Abraham to do with his blessing. He was blessed to be a blessing, and it is the same for us today.  We have been blessed to be a blessing as well.  In the beginning of the 127^th psalm we read unless the Lord builds the house the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city the watchmen stand guard in vain.  The point being, God wants to be in charge of our responsibilities.  He wants to be involved in every aspect of our lives.   Whatever you do God wants to be a part of it.  Brother Lawrence comes to mind. He was a monk who worked in the kitchen in a monastery in France and after he died they published his writing titled Practice the Presence of God.  He devoted his life to seeing God’s hand in the everyday, even in the mundane.  Sensing God’s presences among the pots and pans was a favorite line.   When we see God’s hand in everything it is easy to see Him in the life of a child.  They are a miracle of creation, and to think that God has entrusted us to take care of them and raise them for Him, what an awesome responsibility, and one we need God’s help with.    We need God’s direction in raising our kids, and passing on the blessing to them.  I spent Sunday talking about how to pass on this blessing to our children, from a father’s point of view, but the same principles apply to mothers and any adult who serves in a mentoring role. 

            A father’s blessing in particular means so much to a child. The words we all long to hear from our heavenly father our kids also want to hear from us.  Well done good and faithful servant.  When a father blesses his children with the spoken word he gives them a sense of purpose and affirmation. In the Old Testament we see fathers blessing their children in a formal ceremony.  For us the kids will derive more benefit from it if we do it starting at a young age.  

 Fathers are in a unique position to know what their kids are good at, and where as mothers are worried about how the world will relate to their babies the father worry about how their babies will relate to the world. Did you notice the difference?  Maybe we have all these 30 year olds who can’t seem to make it out of the house on their own because they have been coddled by their moms, and never received direction from their dads. This is really to be expected when we realize that 40% of kids don’t live with their biological dads. It’s hard for a dad to be a positive role model if they only see the kids every other weekend and for 2 weeks in the summer.  Moms are the ones who notice that everyone is a half step ahead of Johnny. Dads are the ones hollering for Johnny to catch up.  Not just how is the world going to treat my baby, but how is my baby going to find his way in the world, what’s he going to contribute? 

  The relationship kids have with their fathers play a huge role in how they turn out as adults. 80% of the men in prison have a bad or no relationship with their dads.  FBI has found a startling link between kids who kill their classmates, Columbine, Littleton, Virginia, where ever, 17 shooters were studied and they all had a poor relationship with their fathers. Being a parent is an awesome privilege, in that we are shaping the next generation, and we can’t drop the ball. Fathers or mother, even grandparents, anyone who serves in a mentoring role help shape our kids.   I mentioned 5 ways we can pass on a blessing to our children on Sunday and I would like to revisit them in no particular order today.   

1)    We need to picture a bright future for our kids.  We saw this in Abraham’s blessing of Joseph and Judah in Gen 48-49. Fathers are in a great position to know what their children do well.  Maybe even more so than the kids do themselves.  So a great exercise is to list 5 thing our kids do really well and mention these to them this next week.   This can work with grown kids as well as toddlers.  We shape our kids when we notice what they are good at and dads help them see how this will translate into a meaningful life’s work. It does little or no good to point out what they suck at.  No one likes to be reminded of this.  In fact doing this would be contrary to what Eph 4:29 tells us to do.  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for building others up.  Cheryll’s paraphrase version on Sunday, if you can’t say something nice about a person, say nothing at all.  The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.  We need to make a point of doing this with our kids. 

2)     Also a great way to pass on a blessing is by telling them they are special and that you like them.  The words we long to hear from our father are the same word our kids long to hear from us. Good job, I’m so proud of you, these are words our kids long to hear.  5 A words, 5 heavenly words that  I mentioned Sunday, words of Acceptance, affection, appreciation, approval, and attention.  Eph 4:29 1^st part is say no evil, 2^nd part speak what is good.   

3)    Don’t just tell them. Show your kids affection. A hug and kiss tell them that you love them, that you like them and you’re happy to be their parent.  We see this present when Israel blessed his grandkids in Gen 48:10 Now Israel’s eyes were failing him because of old age and he could hardly see. So Joseph brought his sons close to him and his father kissed and embraced them.  

4)    Let them know we place a high value on them.  Give them the proper place in your life.  Let them know they are #3 right behind God and spouse.  And definitely in front of your truck and your bird dog.  Show them we value them by taking time for them.  Look them in the eye when you talk to them, listen.  Rick when he was little could talk for hours, and we politely listened; now he really has something to say and I enjoy listening to him. He has areas of interests that I don’t have time for and I can pick his brain on countless subjects, I think in part because we took time to listen to him as a child.  The average dad spends less than a minute and a half per day in conversation with their kids.  Rick and I heard this on the way to work one day, he said we sure blow that average.  Can you imagine 1 ½ minutes a day spread over 2.3 children?  Most of this was not how was your day kind of conversation, but take out the garbage, clean up your room, do your homework, why don’t you get a haircut.  

We have been blessed in many areas and I’m glad we had a chance to revisit, being a blessing to our children.  God doesn’t bless us just to make us happy; He blesses us to make us a blessing.  James talks about the sins of omission.  Here we go.  Pass it on.